Frequently Asked Questions

The answers here aim to add transparency to your overall coaching experience as well as lay important groundwork for your sessions with me, Lora McInturf of The Inner Advocate®.

How do you describe coaching?

People have been using “coaching” techniques for centuries, the Socratic method is one historical example. In modern times, many will think of sports coaching when hearing the term coaching. In fact, professional coaching (as I offer it) has strong roots in sports coaching. A seminal book that expanded sports coaching to the professional sphere was the famous 1975 book by W. Tim Galloway called “The Inner Game of Tennis” (a short and powerful read, which I highly recommend, even if you don’t care at all for tennis).

In his work, Galloway coined the popular equation:

Performance = Potential - Interference

Each of us may be said to have unlimited potential. Yet there are obstacles (internal or external) that get in the way of our performance. Therefore, according to this equation, when we put focus on decreasing or removing the obstacles then our performance will automatically increase. I start with this formula as many people like the logical comfort of linear thinking (“if I do X, then Y will change”). In reality, life is not so simple (otherwise, we all would just simply eliminate our obstacles…assuming we know what they are!).

This is why professional coaching is important and profound for our personal and professional development. The role of the coach is to help you to identify the obstacles and then support you to change your thinking and behaviour relative to those obstacles. Usually, this is not an easy feat. Behind every behavior (habit) of yours is a unique mixture of thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and values that have been accumulated across your lifetime, starting from birth. It’s not uncommon to discover that the obstacle to your work challenge is rooted in an experience in the past. (Coaching is not therapy, however; see further below.) In coaching, we stand back and look at these aspects that may not be serving you today, and then support you to approach your work and life from a place that feels more effective/authentic/true to you now. When we do the work in earnest, you can experience palpable shifts everywhere - in your relationships, the quality of your work, your personal stress levels, and more.

What are our different roles in coaching?

Your job as the client is to figure what you want to change and put the time and energy into making that change.

Some people arrive clear (“I want to get a promotion” or “I want to have more work-life balance”); others have a harder time knowing what they want (in this case, I will support you to get clearer). Ultimately, you will have one or more high-level themes for our work. These can also be known as “focus areas”. Examples could be vision, mindfulness, emotional regulation, collaboration, growth mentality, etc. In addition to an over-arching theme, you will also endeavor to have specific goals to reach during our work. I will support you to articulate those so that you (and I) know what you want out of our time together and also we can monitor your progress as we go.

For some people, putting the time and energy into this work is the most challenging part. We are all living busy lives with many competing demands. If you want to experience positive changes in your life, then choosing our work necessarily becomes a priority. In fact, for some people, the resistance to prioritizing oneself can become the coaching topic.

My job as the coach is to be your equal thinking partner and support you as you begin to change things about your life. My main role is to hold the process for you (while you bring the content that is the focus of our work). The trained process I offer includes: supporting you to get clearer about what you want to change; listening and reflective conversation skills to help challenge you to think more deeply and transform your perspectives; and support and accountability as you implement new approaches to your work and life.

Why did you choose me as your coach?

Why do you want to work with me? What do you believe I have to offer that you do not already have? I have heard many different ideas over the years, some of which I can fulfill and others I cannot. Surfacing your expectations and discussing them together gives us a very solid starting point for your coaching experience. The strength of the relationship we develop together can be one of the most important drivers of the change you are looking to make in your life.

What is your coaching style?

Here I describe my general approach to coaching. More specifically, and for example, I could point out the following things I may notice during our work:

  • words,

  • thoughts,

  • emotions / feelings,

  • body language,

  • physical sensations (including the five senses),

  • breathing,

  • connections among the brain-heart-gut, 

  • intuition,

  • images,

  • energy changes, and

  • other “shifts” that I notice in our conversation space.

    Do you have something additional you would like for me to look for? Please let me know how else I can support you.

In addition, I may use various approaches that include creativity (such as metaphors, visualization, pictures, drawing, writing, etc.), breathwork, or another effective approach I have become aware of as a practitioner.

Throughout our work together, I am not attached to anything I offer as an observation, reflection, or other resource. Like spaghetti on the wall(!), if it sticks for you then we can choose to look at it more closely; if it does not stick for you, then we can move on.

What do I do between our meetings?

Action between sessions is essential to your progress. The actions you may decide on can include practicing a skill, seeking feedback from others, observing yourself or others in specific situations, reading an article or a book, working through a written exercise, watching a video, answering reflective questions, or other supportive or challenging work. This is your coaching experience and I aim to support and challenge you in the ways you feel add the most benefit to your progress.

Can you tell me more about confidentiality?

In coaching sessions, it is important that I offer you a trusted space where you feel open to think and discuss freely. In doing so, you may share varying degrees of personal information with me as your coach. I will maintain confidentiality of the personal information that you share in our coaching sessions subject to a very limited set of exceptions that I describe below.

In addition to the data privacy laws, I adhere to the Code of Ethics of the International Coaching Federation (“ICF”) (the Code of Ethics can be found here). Under §§3-5 of the Code of Ethics, confidentiality can be severed in a limited number of situations. For example, I may be required to share information if you are likely a risk of danger to yourself or others, I become aware that you may be engaging in illegal activity, if the law, a court, or legal order requires it, etc. Additionally, information may be anonymously/hypothetically shared (such as for training, supervision, or other professional development purposes). Outside of these very limited exceptions, there would need to be a clear agreement in place to share parts of our conversation with others, e.g. your boss, HR, or someone else at a company for which you work.

How open do I need to be?

As thinking partners, you and I will endeavor to be as open as possible with each other - and ourselves - before, during, and after the coaching engagement. Your openess is how we can get clarity around your goal(s), uncover and work on the real obstacles to your progress, and find the right balance of action and accountability to reach your goal(s). Therefore, your openness directly impacts the ultimate amount of value you receive from coaching.

Naturally, people have different levels of comfort with being open with others. Trust can take time to build. This is why offering you confidentiality (see previous section) is one of the most important aspects of our coaching relationship.

Is this therapy? Can I expect advice?

As a professional coach, I am not licensed as a professional therapist, psychologist, counselor, or social worker. For a more thorough look at the difference between coaching and therapy, please look here.

When I am professionally coaching, I am also not a consultant, teacher, or mentor. And, just as important, I am not acting as a lawyer. While I am a licensed attorney-at-law (Ohio, U.S.A.) and a non-practicing solicitor (England and Wales), I do not give legal advice to any of my clients, and a coaching relationship with me does not result in an attorney-client relationship nor does it lead to any kind of attorney-client privilege.

Will you explain things to me?

The most important role I have as your coach is to help you think for yourself. You already have everything you need inside of you! As a starting point, I do not draw attention to models, techniques, or science during our coaching conversations as this can quickly become teaching and/or consulting (professional coaching is not teaching or consulting). However, sometimes I may make an exception and share information that is in the service of increasing your awareness further (supporting greater clarity more quickly) or point you to resources that may expand your thinking or enhance your progress in between our sessions.

Should I be taking notes? What else should I have on hand?

On your side, I suggest that you have on-hand a few things:

  • some paper and a writing instrument, plus post-it notes if possible. Sometimes the best way to generate insight or deepen learnings is to revert to physically drawing or writing “the old fashioned way” with our hands. We are all very used to typing on our electronics, me included! Yet studies show that handwriting has many positive affects on our brains (see more about that here).

  • a personal journal or dedicated document to capture your insights, commitments made, actions taken, and any other reflections on your work undertaken throughout the coaching experience. This can greatly enhance your experience and progress toward your goal(s).

On my side, I take personal handwritten notes for my sole use during our coaching sessions to support you in reaching clarity, demonstrating progress, and providing accountability. Even when I take my eyes off of you to look at my notes, please know that I remain connected with you and fully engaged in our work together. (Please also be aware that my note-taking is not a substitute for your own responsibility to keep track of what is important to you that arises from our work. If you feel you missed something that you would like to (re)capture, then please bring it to our attention during the session or in the next session.) Outside of our sessions, I may also produce creative renderings of our work as a further way to bolster my support of your coaching experience. When our coaching relationship comes to an end, and no further engagement can be anticipated, any of my personal handwritten notes are destroyed via a paper shredder in my office.

How do I prepare my space for our work?

Both of our environments are important to the success of your coaching sessions. Our locations should be free from distractions so that we may fully focus during the sessions. This can include turning off notifications on our computers and shutting down our phones. Furthermore, I will not agree to coach while either of us are driving, nor will I agree to have a session if other people are in the room (the presence of other people can impede our ability to speak freely as well as serve as a distraction to our attention).

Our work (and your progress) directly correlates with the quality of attention you bring to our conversations. Being in a relaxed mental and physical state is essential. If you arrive to our sessions directly from another meeting or in an otherwise “harried” condition, then it will take some time to shift and “arrive” to our work (this is not uncommon, by the way). If you can take up to five minutes -before our meeting - to let go of what you were just working on or who you were with (a few moments of meditation, if you like), then this will make our conversations far more productive. If you do not have the time to do that, then I will offer that we take that time at the beginning of our session. A few moments of deep breathing, grounding, and/or centering can have a profound impact on the depth and quality of our coaching conversations.

Is it normal that I am tired after our conversations?

Yes! If you have never worked with a coach before, then it may surprise you that you feel tired after our sessions. This may seem more evident in the early sessions, when the work we are doing feels new to you. This is a normal phenomena that I have discussed with many clients, and I have also experienced it myself when I was coached. When you are not used to slowing down to go inside yourself and think deeply, the brain can work hard to search for information and then create new neural connections.

Just like with physical exercise, when you haven’t done it for awhile (or not all), the beginning can feel exhausting and frustrating (especially if you think you are not progressing fast enough). The body may ache with physical exercise; in your coaching experience, the brain may ache. This can also lead to some resistance (“doing this work is too tiring!”). Resistence is a normal part of the change process, and I am here to support you through that resistance.

How does feedback fit into our work?

I regularly seek feedback about how our coaching work is progressing from your perspective. I encourage an open dialogue about what is working (or not working) for you. This is an intentional aspect of our work, as coaching is also a learning opportunity for you to practice giving/receiving feedback, saying difficult things, owning your truth, and more. By approaching our conversations with courage, both of us can increase the meaningful impact of coaching on what you are trying to achieve with your goal(s).

How could you ever understand all the things that are important to me, such as my culture, race, economic background, sexual orientation, disability, etc.?

My approach to coaching is to embrace the fact that every one of us has a unique life narrative - you, the people in your life, and me as well. Parts of your life narrative may become the focus of our work, depending on what you feel may be getting in the way of reaching your goal(s). Whatever information you share, my intention as your coach (as a human being in general!) is to be:

  • open

  • non-judgmental

  • inclusive

  • safe

  • trustworthy

If I ever say or do something that does not feel right to you in any way, then please bring it to my attention so that it can be cleared up right away. The quality of our relationship is critical to the success of your coaching experience.

I am interested in going through the Positive Intelligence® program with you. Can you tell me more?

I give a short introduction to the program, also known as the PQ Mental Fitness program, here. I also highly recommend you thoroughly read through the Positive Intelligence® website.

The program requires a minimum of nine (9) weekly coaching sessions in a row: seven (7) meetings with me that take you through the entire program; and two (2) meetings on either end to effectively bookend the experience. To reiterate, this is a minimum two (2) month time and energy commitment of working together every week. (If your company has limited your coaching program to 6 or 8 sessions, then this will not be enough time to go through the Positive Intelligence® program. If you are still interested, then let’s still talk about what else may be possible for you.)

The commitment every week is approximately three (3) hours: a one (1) hour pre-recorded video to watch each weekend; a forty-five (45) minute meeting with me every week (on Monday or Tuesday); and fifteen (15) minutes of app-guided practice most days of the working week.

I have gone through this program myself and also taken many professionals through it. For the people who fully immerse themselves in the program, the effects can be profound. Results from my clients have included: less stress, better emotional management, improved sleep, deeper relationships (professional and personal), greater self-awareness, and more!

Can I ask you a question that isn’t listed here?

Absolutely! This page lists the most frequent topics and questions that clients have raised in the past. If you have another question in mind, then please ask at our next session.